Lost
by Zaleone
Summary: When Modryn sent her on this insane venture, she hadn't known it would lead to this. Short one-shot.


Disclaimer – I do not own The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion and am making no profit from writing this story.

Summary – When Modryn sent her on this insane venture, she hadn't known it would lead to this. Short one-shot.

**!READ!**

Forewarning, I know very well that this is not canon with the game, however, to me this way had the best flow for this particular idea. In this story the hero, Rhaa'kari, woke up on the side of the road after taking the Hist Sap and returned to Water's Edge on her own without telling Modryn what happened first. So please, no complaints that this isn't canon.

This is my first time writing him so I hope I got Modryn in character. Thanks for reading guys!

Without further ado, read, enjoy & review! ^_^

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**Lost**

_by, Zaleone_

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I don't know how I made it to Chorrol.

My head pounded with each beat of my heart, my body close to giving out from the strain I'd put it under. This did not deter me, however, for the horror of what I had done echoed in my mind. I would not ask forgiveness. Hell, I couldn't forgive myself for what I'd done even with the full knowledge that it was under the influence of the Hist Sap.

As I mindlessly walked through Chorrol's streets, I remembered this past year with startling clarity.

After losing Martin, I joined the Fighters Guild on a whim.

The anger that came with this loss was vented into the jobs I tirelessly carried out for the guild, oftentimes rendering those issuing the orders speechless in my stamina. As I expected, I hated the work at first. It was miserable and often dangerous, all for a meager salary for those in the lower ranks. Trudging through the mud, risking life and limb to clear out a nest of trolls for only a few hundred gold was not ideal employment.

At times, it simply wasn't worth the effort.

Even so, I stubbornly plowed my way through the ranks until I was eventually called to Chorrol where I first met the second-in-command of the guild, Modryn Oreyn. The Dunmer was blunt, honest and wasted no time in issuing the order to investigate why the wood elf, Maglir, defaulted on a contract in Skingrad.

Several times thereafter, I was called to Chorrol and rather enjoyed the tasks Modryn gave me but when we traveled to Atatar to find Azani Blackheart, I knew things shifted. The Blackwood Company had no morals, no sense of law and they were too reckless in how they carried out their contracts. Modryn recruited me to infiltrate them, unbeknownst to the Guildmaster, and find out what it was that made them so ruthless, so uncaring in their methods.

I now knew.

My head was still fuzzy from the Hist Sap and while I had that answer, it scared me that those within the Blackwood Company took a large dose before every mission. I didn't want to imagine what that stuff could do to non-Argonians over an extended period of time.

All I could focus on right now was telling Modryn what I'd learned. What I'd done…I couldn't let them die in vain.

Though I already vowed this after I'd gone back to Water's Edge and seen the massacre, I knew it would take everything I had in me to face Modryn. I knew he'd understand but I was ashamed. I should've known better than to simply take it, I _did_ know better but I hadn't wanted to get caught so soon when they were already suspicious of me. I didn't think something like this would happen…I didn't know anyone could willingly slay so many innocent lives.

My steps were silent along the road as I continued on, thinking the setting appropriate as the rain continued to pour down in the dead of night. Only the guards were awake and on patrol, a few nodding to me though I didn't return it.

Eventually, I found myself standing in front of Modryn's home.

Before I could question my resolve, I knocked on the back door and waited. After a few seconds, however, I couldn't take the wait and started pounding on the old wood and didn't stop until the door slammed open. On the other side, a half-naked, very angry Dunmer glared at me.

It took him a moment to recognize me and I wasn't surprised. I was soaked to the bone but I didn't doubt the blood was still visible. I was covered in it but none of it was mine…a fact that only haunted me more.

"Rhaa'kari?" Modryn blinked a couple times before rolling his eyes and opening the door. "In."

I didn't hesitate as I swept past him, stopping midway inside. "Modryn, I…" I hesitated.

He shut the door with a significant 'slam', turning to me with his arms crossed. "Well," he snapped, impatient. "Spit it out. I'd like to sleep at some point tonight."

"I…" Shaking my head, I cursed myself as my eyes started to burn. I put a hand over my eyes, taking a moment to compose myself before I looked at the Dunmer. "It's Hist Sap," I said, my voice hitching and not above a whisper.

The confusion lasted only a moment before it clicked what I was telling him and his eyes widened "Azura." He ran a hand through the disheveled Mohawk. "How could they be _that_ stupid?"

"They take it before…before they head out on a job." I shook my head again, my mind not up to dealing with what I was feeling though I don't know if that was the Sap or my own horror. When I started speaking again, I couldn't stop the words pouring out of my mouth. "I swear, Modryn, I didn't know what it was. I never should've taken it, I know that, but I didn't want them to find out. They were already suspicious! When I woke up on the side of the road, I-"

Warm hands were suddenly on either side of my face, forcing me to look at the stern Dunmer.

His intense expression silenced me. "Calm down and breathe."

After a second of just staring at him, I obeyed and closed my eyes as I took in a deep breath.

"It's all right, kid," he tried to soothe, his hands falling from my face. "Now, just tell me what happened."

And I did.

It took the better part of an hour but I managed it.

Modryn was silent, his expression indifferent as he thought over what I'd learned.

When the silence became too much, I hung my head. "I swear, Modryn, I didn't know. If I did-"

That familiar, exasperated glare silenced me once more and he shook his head. "This was not your fault. You hear me?"

I sighed deeply, some of the weight lifting from my shoulders at the words. I stared at him for several moments and nodded when he gave me an expectant look. "Yeah," I answered shakily. "I hear you."

Modryn nodded. "All right, then." There was a moment of silence between us before he spoke again, "Let's just get some sleep. This can wait until the morning."

It wasn't until that very moment that I finally knew everything _would_ be okay. I wouldn't forget what I'd done. I doubt I could ever forgive myself despite what Modryn said but I _would_ live through it. When this whole mess was finished, everything would eventually be okay again.

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**End of Lost**

And there it is, written in the course of forty-five minutes. I hope you guys enjoyed it and please tell me what you thought, all opinions are appreciated. ^_^


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